Yes… this is a picture of our bathroom. Over the last nine months, this has become “my spot.” No, not on the toilet, but that little carpet in front of the toilet. You may not be able to tell from the picture, but this little spot is actually a place of sanctification for me. I have met God here many times throughout the day and night during my pregnancy. I did not choose this spot. God chose it for me. I have shed many tears here… questioned God many times here…shook my fists in angry frustration here… and ultimately have fallen to my knees in humble contriteness before My King in this little spot. What sends me to my spot? One little word: nausea. I have thrown up too many times to count since I’ve been pregnant… in the beginning it was multiple times throughout the day and night and then after five months I had some relief and didn’t have to visit my spot so often. And now that my baby is bigger, there is no room for her and my supper… and so I have to return to my spot again regularly.
I have gone through many emotions as I sit in my spot. It is very easy for me to complain and grumble in my heart against the Lord for allowing me to be sick so often… I know of many women who experience only slight nausea, and no throwing up…. why couldn’t I be like them? But then the Lord gently reminds me that even my nausea has a purpose… just like everything else in this life: to conform me into the likeness of Jesus Christ. How will I ever know that “His grace is sufficient for me and that His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor 12:8)” if I never experience true weakness? How can I learn to “Count it all joy (James 1:2)” if I never have a real trial? How will I be made holy if I never go through the fire of refinement? It has taken many visits to my spot to learn to be content with the lot that He has chosen for me.
This pregnancy is a gift from the Lord. The life that is being formed in me is a beautiful treasure that I do not deserve. There are countless women out there who struggle with infertility who would love to trade places with me…. even if it means visiting a spot like mine. The Lord is patient with me as I battle to overcome my complaints with gratefulness and joy that He has allowed me to be a mother. He knew that I needed to become familiar with this spot in order to change my heart for His glory.
Where is your spot?
1 comment:
It never ceases to amaze me that in whatever circumstance we find ourselves in -- herein is the "spot of santification" He has for us! He is commited to our holiness(sometimes I wish He wasn't so good at it, mind you! :))and will consistently place in our lives those things that speak to us, "I am your God -- trust me..I'm sufficient!" Know that I'm praying for you as you go before the "throne" of grace! :)
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